Do you ever just want to leave? To go on an adventure where you just get up, pack a few days of clothes and leave? I don’t want to to know where I’m going or how long it’ll take to get there. I want to just get on the high way and drive, turn where it feels right and just wing it.
Sometimes I just need and want to leave- to escape everything in this city and with all it’s people. Just a break, so it all becomes bearable again.
They aways told you that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What they failed to also tell you is that it beauty is best seen with your eyes closed. What you look like isn’t important. What is important is who you are on the inside and the choices you are making with your life.
A thought ravages my senses Drives away my thoughts The moment stretches Desire a flaming thirst, unbearable Slaked by Passion Time slows exquisitely Waiting for that shattering Of the fragile instant – I become feelings, desires, passion I become me.
The waves crashed below, snarling and attacking the rocks and earth like a pack of rabid creatures trying desperately to overcome the boundaries of nature. Rain was starting to drizzle down around me, their miniscule bodies frozen for a split second as my eyes watched them dash pass, crashing into the rock and water below my feet. I was perched at the edge of this tumultuous sea, watching the white caps spike from the water before descending once more, as if they were the heads of thousands of sea demons, brought up by the scent of the rain on the air, or the droplets hitting the surface, instantly engulfed by the shear mass of the salt water alone.
I sat huddled, my shoulders hunched and arms wrapped around my sides, staring off into the distance. I felt the rain drip down the sides of my face, following the lines the tears before them had already left. I couldn’t cry anymore. That didn’t mean I couldn’t come to terms with anything. My mind was deliberately ignoring the task, staring off into space and filling my conscious mind with pointless garble. It kept going in circles, asking questions I couldn’t answer, wondering possibilities I would never have a conclusion to.
Distant lightning flashed, waltzing across the clouds before ultimately disappearing, leaving its silhouette imprinted in my minds eye for several seconds after. The wind rushed up from the sea, fleeing the storm front with such strength that it caught loose strands of my hair with it. I continued to stare, not really seeing the show slowly taking place before me, not really caring how close the storm actually got before my senses would take over. As far as I was concerned, I wasn’t moving. I had no reason to. Why go back? Why go back to confusion, to anger and grief? I found no point in doing so.
Going back would just pain my heart more so; going back would do more harm than good. I couldn’t go back; I couldn’t alter time itself and return where errors were made. I had no choice but to live with decisions set in stone, decisions that are seemingly invincible, only to be worn down by weather and time itself. They can be worn, altered in description, but never taken back.
Time was cruel, that much I understood. Time let you live and learn on your own, with no former understanding of how the world worked, how consequences came no matter what you did, even consequences you didn’t fully comprehend could happen. Time simply moved on, leaving you broken, bleeding in its wake. It didn’t comfort, no matter what people said. Time never comforted. Time was a parent that averted their eyes to teach their child a lesson. In Time’s care, you grew up fast, some sooner than others.
The rain was falling harder now, becoming a grey haze around my world. I felt the water seep through my sweatshirt, completely drenching my already soaked skin. I raised my hand to my face in defeat. I couldn’t continue life like this, this horrid depression clouding every thought, turning every happy memory I did have, when Time wasn’t so evil, into something suspicious or saddening. What happened to memories being happy? What happened to those better days, when smiling and laughing along with people I knew came as easy as scowling did now?
I didn’t fully understand where I went wrong, how I ended up in the situation I had now. I knew, somewhere that I would never understand, that it was all apart of Time’s irritating game.
The worst part was, was that I could look back on those life changing moments. I could replay the memories over and over again, helplessly watching, wishing I could just yank the memory from my mind and discard of it, discard of it and never look back. I felt lost, puzzled and helpless. The three emotions teased my brain, exhausting it subconsciously and consciously, turning me into a literal zombie. I couldn’t fight this, I could only watch as I somehow find my way blindly through this emotional minefield…and hope I would see myself on the other side.
Yes, many have traveled this dreary road too many to count some may say it was our choice to walk this way others say it is happiness’s advocate this road continues further nigh to the end we see the speck of sunshine glimmering through the twisting branches the more we pick up our pace the more the shining rays of hope seem to approach just when we think our worries and tribulations seem to be diminished the sun obscures itself with fear of our needs we do not complain for we are used to such disappointments leaving our sighs in our teeth we return to our shacks of melancholy woes we need not to look for the sun for we have learned our cruel lessons our comfort zones caress our cheeks to face another day